What's wrong with gay sex?

This is one of a series of articles. The same sex issue is incredibly complex. Here we'll discuss the church's historically poor treatment of people with same sex attraction and perhaps lay out a new way forward. If you are gay or lesbian, God loves you, just as much as he loves anyone else. Pope Francis said:

When we encounter a gay person, we must make the distinction between the fact of a person being gay and the fact of a lobby, because lobbies are not good. They are bad ... we must be brothers, this is the first matter. There is another problem, is to form a lobby of those who have this tendency ... This is the most serious problem for me...

Pope Francis, July 28, 2013

The Pope is making a distinction between people with same sex attraction and the "gay lobby" (gay culture) which is a political entity. Our current culture wants us to believe there are many truths, but different "truths" collide. The Church says sex between two people of the same gender is very unhealthy, the gay lobby says it's wholesome. Both cannot be right.

The Church needs to provide a safe space for lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, and transsexuals (LGBTs) who want to explore chastity

Denial is not healthy. Those who are same sex attracted need to have a place to share feelings and experiences. Since the 70s, LGBT community centers have had "coming out right" groups where people with same sex attraction share their experiences of telling friends, family, co-workers, and associates about their sexual attractions. It was based on a 5 step model of coming out.

5 steps of coming out at LGBT community centers are: 1) Denial that one has same sex attractions 2) Admitting to self that one has same sex attractions. 3) Disclosing to others that one has same sex attractions. 4) Socialization with others who have same sex attactions. 5) Acceptance and integration into the LGBT community.

We at Catholic Bridge think the first three steps that the gay community is advancing are moving towards health, the 4th step is a pivotal decision point, and the 5th step in the gay community's model (above) leaves the same sex attracted person worse off than before they started. There is a kind of denial which is unhealthier than being "in the closet." It is the denial of God's call to chastity for everyone, regardless of orientation.

In the LGBT community, there is a sentiment that anyone who practices chastity is in denial. We suggest it is the exact opposite. Chastity is total ownership of our human condition, and a total acceptance of our sexuality and God's ability to keep us chaste. He is actually quite good at that and without him it's almost impossible.

This is how we think it could be for those who are pursuing Truth.

the 5 steps of coming out of gay denial towards chastity. Denial that one has same sex attractions., Admitting to self that one has same sex attractions. Disclosing to others who are supportive of chastity, that one has same sex attractions. Socialization with others who have same sex attactions who want to explore chastity.

We modified Step 4, to disclose to others who are supportive of chastity, socialization with other same sex attracted people who want chastity. This step is pivotal. We think one direction is healthy and the other is unhealthy. In step 5, we suggest acceptance and integration into the Church community, rather than the LGBT community.

Christians need to provide a clean, welcoming, "no-sex" space, where men and women who have had, or still have, "same sex" attraction can explore God's gift of chastity in an environment that is supporting, loving and free of the "yuck!" factor around sexual issues.

There are many reasons why Evangelical "change" ministries such as "Exodus" failed. A fundamental problem was they didn't understand that the individual has to fully accept the truth about one's ongoing attractions as a basic step toward healing. There was an expectation that they would get married to someone of the opposite sex and not struggle with same sex attractions anymore. Thankfully, the Catholic ministry for people with same sex attractions, "Courage" has not made that mistake. It also stays out of political issues and focuses on individuals.

Welcoming people with same sex attraction is the Church's duty and responsibility. We cannot leave this to the LGBT community, because paradoxically, sex is not the answer to same sex attraction.

The Catechism calls the Christian community to task about its lack of Charity to gay men and lesbians:

...They [gay men and lesbians] must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These people are called to fulfill God's will in their lives... (2358)

Pope Francis said:

"I am glad that we are talking about 'homosexual people' because before all else comes the individual person, in his wholeness and dignity. And people should not be defined only by their sexual tendencies: let us not forget that God loves all his creatures and we are destined to receive his infinite love."

- Pope Francis, The Name of God is Mercy

The majority of same sex attracted people are those experiencing transitory same sex attractions.

Many people experience transitory same sex attractions at some point of their lives, or throughout their lives, and may find themselves at various times drawn to the LGBT community, which welcomes anyone with same sex attractions.

The LGBT community is like a big funnel drawing all those with sexual attractions outside of the norm.

Once someone has identified with the LGBT community and begun the socialization process, there is an expectation upon them to accept LGBT tenets such as:

  • Anybody with gay tendencies should join the LBGT community
  • Same sex attracted people should have sex
  • There are no rules of sexual conduct except consent, ANYTHING else goes
  • Human sexual instinct should have precedence over external (or internal) moral values
  • Gender is fluid and not a God given characteristic with which we are born
  • An important way to raise your self esteem is to convince friends, family and society that having sex with people of the same gender is emotionally and physically healthy.
  • Never accept outside criticism of the community
  • Anyone who leaves the community is in denial, and has unresolved psychological problems and/or suffers from religious guilt
  • Anyone who questions these tenets publicly is a "hater" and a "judgmental bigot" who needs to be socially punished
  • Parents who attempt to intervene in a child's gender identification or choices, regardless of the child's age, are abusive and should lose their children. (That is a law in Ontario, enacted under a Premier who left her husband for her lesbian lover.)

The LGBT community seems to welcome anyone who decides to transition into their community because of same sex attractions, but is quite judgmental of anyone who leaves it because of choice, spiritual experience, or opposite sex attractions. The LGBT community is equally judgmental of those who choose to share a contrary position to their community, or in their own family.

Is Change Possible?

The Church differentiates transitory same sex tendencies from deep-seated same sex attractions. It is much more likely that those with transitory same sex feelings (rather than those with deep seated same sex attraction), will transition to natural marriage to someone of the opposite sex. However, they may need some sort of recovery process, such as the steps mentioned. Regarding those with deep seated attractions, we try not to limit what God is capable of doing. The Church says this.

...The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. They do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection. (Catechism 2357-2359).

Why does the Church say "no" to unnatural sex?

  • The Biblical evidence: cover to cover the Bible presents gay sex as a problem, which is why there has been so much work by activists to try to re-frame the Bible, or worse make it illegal to read.
  • The historical evidence: Saints, mystics, and the fathers of the Church, throughout history are consistent about gay sex. Many gave their lives in the defense and pursuit of truth, and had no good reason to "toe the line" with the Church or their culture.
  • The biological evidence, "Natural Law" says that things in God's Creation should be used according to their purpose. (i.e., Gay sex does not follow any natural or biological law.)
  • The ecclesiastical evidence: Christian charity is to try to help people for their own eternal good and for the good of those they influence. That's the Church's mission as commanded by Christ, and whenever and wherever the Church drifts from that mission, it suffers.

Beyond we, at Catholic Bridge provide these additional considerations:

  • The statistical evidence paints a dramatic picture of unnatural sex, which causes great suffering for those in the LGBT community, with huge social fallout on the general population. (see below for stats provided by the LGBT community)
  • The political evidence is the oppression of free speech and freedom of religion, which is the spearhead of a new war on the Church.
  • One of our team spent 18 months "Out" in the LGBT community and learned from inside, that the gay community in New York, San Francisco, Las Angeles, Montreal and Toronto is not a healthy place.
  • His emotional evidence is that he's happier now.
  • His spiritual evidence is that the closer he feels to Jesus, the more freedom he experiences. After 25 years of abstaining from all relations, and serving the poor, he is married to a wonderful woman and has a child. He is healthy, working, and productive, does not take any medications, and experiences much joy in life.
  • There are numerous Catholics who have walked this path through the organization Courage.


Are Christians intolerant, judgmental bigots?

Some Christians, including some Catholics, are intolerant judgmental bigots. Just like some gay men and lesbians are judgmental, intolerant bigots. One of our team was at a party for a co-worker who was gay, and was yelled at by a gay activist who told him to throw out his "magic book of medieval myths." His partner told him to calm down.

Pope Benedict coined the phrase "Dictatorship of Relativism". Relativism says, "every person's truth has the same merit."

A blind friend of ours was jogging across the street. He didn't believe a car was coming. That was his "truth," and he believed it. Unfortunately, he was wrong. A car hit him and broke his leg. (True story)

If we were on the side of the road and saw the car coming towards him, would it be responsible for us to just stay silent and say, "I shouldn't warn him about the car because I don't want to be intolerant and judgmental about his truth?" He may not listen, but it is still our duty to inform him.

Modern society has abandoned truth, in favour of preference. Yet, many people who hold this philosophy don't think that there is any merit in a Christian person's truth. Relativism is not viable as a philosophy, paradoxically it leads to fundamentalism. Secular fundamentalism shows up in the numerous law suits against Christian business owners.


Which is more old-fashioned, the Church or the modern society?

If the Church is Medieval, then modern society is Primal! A #1 dance song was:

You and me baby, we ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel

Internet porn, sex on prime time TV. Viagra is a top selling drug. Men can't keep up with the amount of sex they think they should have. The National Post reported that 25% of girls in the age bracket 15-25 have venereal warts. Teenage girls who refuse to kiss another girl at parties are ostracized by the boys. People who don't have sex are viewed with pity or contempt. Psychiatrists have a field day with people who feel called to celibacy and those who don't masturbate. Teenagers who want to wait until marriage are ridiculed by their peers.


Statistics provided by the Gay Community about life expectancy, addiction and sexual health issues

Canada's largest gay paper XTRA reported, "Canada's health care system is homophobic, says group, Six queers file human rights complaint", Julia Garro, Xtra Tuesday, February 17, 2009."

"Now that we can get married everyone assumes that we don't have any issues ... A lot of the deaths that occur in our community are hidden ... Those of us who are working on the front lines see them and I'm tired of watching my community die."

The following are stats found in the article:

  • Life expectancy of gay/bisexual men in Canada is 20 years less than the average; that is 55 years.
  • GLB people commit suicide at rates from 2 to 13.9 times more often than average.
  • GLB people have smoking rates 1.3 to 3 times higher than average.
  • GLB people have rates of alcoholism 1.4 to 7 times higher than average.
  • GLB people have rates of illicit drug use 1.6 to 19 times higher than average.
  • GLB people show rates of depression 1.8 to 3 times higher than average.
  • Gay and bisexual men (MSM) comprise 76.1% of AIDS cases.
  • Gay and bisexual men (MSM) comprise 54% of new HIV infections each year.
  • If one uses Statistics Canada figure of 1.7% of GLB becoming infected, that is 26 times higher than average.
  • GLB people are at a higher risk for anal cancers.
  • Lesbians have higher rates of breast cancer

For the exact quotes, please see pages 3 and 4 of the HRC complaint.

This is an incredible tragedy. Each and every human being has an inherent dignity and value. Advocates of gay marriage mistakenly believe "homophobia" is the cause. In prior decades, there was more "homophobia" and less social acceptance. Yet the statistics are worse now, even though gay marriage is legal. In places like San Francisco and the Netherlands where gay sex is normalized, the stats are worse, which creates problems for the theory that the cause of these stats is "homophobia"

The report from the Rainbow Coalition argues against the assertion that gay sex is equivalent to straight sex, which is the foundation of the gay rights movement. But far from revisiting the whole premise of promoting abstinence, their solution is to lobby for more public health dollars allotted to the gay community than other communities.

Some gay activists say that these stats are because gay men have delayed adolescence as a result of "coming out" late (i.e., in their 30's), and they are promiscuous because they were late blooming teenagers. They say things like "Does your gay age match your chronological age?"  If that theory was true then the statistics would show the promiscuity of adult gay men to be similar to straight teenagers. But that is just not so. Adult gay men have promiscuity statistics far exceeding straight teenagers. The other problem with this theory is that there is no indication that the "adolescent sex craze" period in gay men slows down after 5 years of coming out as it does after adolescents finish their teen years. In most cases the addiction to lust increases over time. Articles in gay papers ridicule gay men who don't want exposure to HIV encouraging them to not curb sex.

If you live downtown and you go to gay spaces and you hook up, then you definitely know and are having sex with HIV-positive guys ...you're entitled to not use condoms, to not ask when you partner was last tested, to smoke Tina and party hard - but know that those choices belong to you not your partner. (Capital Xtra June 7, 2007)

Recent laws and policies aimed at reducing the rate of suicide, addiction, partner abuse, and STDs, etc. by granting more sexual freedom have not diminished those statistics. There has been an increase since the beginning of the 'rights' movement in the early 70's and it's getting worse, not better. Health Canada has a very disturbing study about the prevalence of HIV here.

"... the economic impact of 3,070 new HIV infections in 2009 has a lifetime cost of $4,031,500,000, approximately 22% higher than previously estimated... HIV/AIDS is costing Canadians $1.3 million per each new diagnosis of HIV. But it’s not about money – the primary concern is for the affected lives." Canadian Aids Society...http://www.cdnaids.ca/cost-of-hiv


How does the Church explain same sex attraction? 

The Catholic Church is the first to admit that it is a mystery. The Church is not saying same sex attraction is a choice. The Catechism says:

". . .Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained." (section 2357)

Psychiatrists can't explain same sex attraction. Before "Stonewall" in 1969 1, there were huge arguments within the LGBT community itself about whether homosexuality is a disability. The LGBT community was divided within itself. After much lobbying by the LGBT community, including the storming of a 1972 San Francisco psychiatric convention, the Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the DSM (catalogue of disabilities) in 1973. Sometimes psychiatrists are wrong, individually and collectively. (i.e., they have among the highest divorce and suicide rates)3 The Catechism says:

Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity (Gen 19:1-29; Rom 1:24-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10), tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity.

We got an email that said:

[for the Church] to treat gay persons as they have been treated is immoral. It is shameful and I detest that treatment. I long ago left such an abusive relationship.

Perhaps one of the greatest victories the LGBT community has had is convincing the wider society that sexuality is fixed and there are no grey areas. The Church has been beat up badly by the press, politicians, and by the courts. The Catholic Church must stand firm and accept the pain and damage of this bad press in order to protect the souls of Christians who obey and listen to the Church's teaching. It is precisely because the Catholic Church loves LGBT people (and all people) that it advises against unnatural sex. Other denominations have caved into the pressure to be more "progressive", but their churches are shrinking and on the brink of extinction.

How does the scientific community explain Same Sex Attraction?

The Journal – The New Atlantis, (August 23, 2016). The Journal is a well-known journal of science, technology and ethics based in Washington D.C.  This article analysed the scientific evidence of LGBT issues published to date in scientific journals.

The report was authored by two eminent scholars. Dr. Lawrence Mayer, a professor of psychiatry and statistics and biostatistics at Arizona State University, stated in the preface to the study that he has testified in dozens of federal and state legal proceedings strongly supporting equality and opposing discrimination for the LGBT Community. However, Dr. Mayer stated he supports every sentence in this report without reservation since it is about science and medicine.  He also stated he was alarmed to learn during his review of over 500 scientific articles that the LGBT community bears a disproportionate rate of mental health problems compared to the population as a whole.

The other author is Dr. Paul McHugh, one of the leading psychiatrists in the world. He was psychiatrist-in-chief at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore from 1975 to 2001.  These scientists reviewed hundreds of peer reviewed studies on sexual orientation and gender identity from the biological, psychological and social sciences.  Their conclusions were as follows:

  • The belief that sexual orientation is an innate, biologically fixed human property – that people are “born that way” – is not supported by scientific evidence.
  • The belief that gender identity is an innate, fixed human property independent of biological sex – so that a person might be a ‘man trapped in a woman’s body’ or ‘a woman trapped in a man’s body’ – is not supported by scientific evidence.
  • Only a minority of children who express gender-atypical thoughts or behaviour will continue to do so into adolescence or adulthood. There is no evidence that all such children should be encouraged to become transgender, much less subjected to hormone treatments or surgery. 
  • Non-heterosexual and transgender people have higher rates of mental health problems (anxiety, depression, suicide), as well as behavioral and social problems (substance abuse, intimate partner violence), than the general population. Discrimination alone does not account for the entire disparity.

Also, a top researcher for the American Psychological Association (APA), lesbian activist, Dr. Lisa Diamond, co-author-in-chief of ‘the APA Handbook’ of sexuality and psychology and one of the APA’s most respected member said that sexual orientation was “fluid” and not unchangeable.  She summarized the relevant findings in a lecture at Cornell University stating that abundant research has now established that sexual orientation – including attraction, behaviour and self-identity – is fluid for both adolescents and adults for both genders.


Interpretations of the Bible that attempt to justify gay "love"

We are grateful that some people in the LGBT community are still reading the Bible and looking for answers to the moral dilemmas of modern man in Sacred Scripture. Please continue, the Bible is the most inspired book on the planet. We have moved our section on gay sex in the Bible out of this document to its own page because it got quite detailed in response to many emails from the LGBT community. We'll just touch on a few points here.

The Bible covers a 5000 year period from the dawn of man to the years after Christ's resurrection. From back to front, it never flinches on its strong opposition to gay sex. That in itself is a powerful statement in the wake of the statistically documented devastation that has occurred in the short 30 years since gay sex has been "accepted" by western society.

The Bible and God are about "love" so doesn't that make gay love (sex) OK too?

There are four Greek words for love in the Bible. I suggest the LGBT community is confusing same sex philia (brotherly love) which the Bible encourages, with same sex "eros" (romantic love) which the Bible condemns. More on this topic here

In the New Testament, doesn't Jesus wash away the Old Testament law and morality?

Gay sex is condemned in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Also, Jesus said:

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 5:17) More on this topic here

Jesus never talks about homosexuality in the Bible

Jesus lived in a time when homosexuality was wrong. If He did have something new to say about homosexuality, it would have been written and recorded since it would be an incredible departure. But He reaffirmed the Old Testament (Mat 5:17). He restored the "one man, one woman," marriage Genesis model (Mat 19:5-6), affirmed that adultery is wrong, (Mat 5:27-28), that sexual contact or lust outside of marriage is a sin. (Mat 5)

The apostles died to affirm Jesus' teaching and are explicit in their condemnation of gay sex. They knew that it would be a scandal to teach anything contrary to his words. More on this topic here

Wasn't Sodom about "unwelcoming" rather than gay love (sex)?

Lots of towns were unwelcoming, they didn't share the same fate of Sodom. The New Testament says, "Likewise Sodom and Gomorrah in the same manner...indulged in sexual immorality and... unnatural lust." (Jude 1:7) This is pretty clear about what went wrong in Sodom. More on this topic here

Wasn't Sodom about "rape" rather than about same sex committed relationships?

No one was raped that night in Sodom. The Angels blinded them so they could not even find the door to get in to Lot's house to do the rape (Gen 19:11). More on this topic here

Well then, wasn't Sodom about "intended rape," that is almost as bad as rape?

Peter describes Sodom's sin as 'licentious, lawless deeds.' (2 Peter 2:7) The word 'lawless' is particularly interesting because Jewish law found in Leviticus never specified the 'intent' of rape as a crime. However, gay sex is expressly forbidden in Jewish law. (Lev 18:22) Peter uses the word 'deeds' to describe Sodom's sin. This infers a concrete action, not just intent. This passage says, "indulge their flesh in depraved lust." To indulge the flesh points to more than intent to rape. The passage says Lot was tormented 'day after day' by lawless deeds he 'saw and heard.' This appears to be more than simple intent and appears to refer to more than one isolated incident. I think Jer 23:14 and Isaiah 3:9 also support this. More on this topic here

Isn't Romans 1:24-27 simply saying that people should not have gay sex if it is "unnatural" for them?

Let's for a moment consider that to be true, that the passage exempts 100% purebred homosexuals (on the Kinsey scale, if there is such a thing). Where would that leave the bisexual? Virtually all theologians and gay friendly churches that justify gay sex using this defense also defend the validity of a bisexual orientation, which their interpretation of this passage damns. If they don't take their own theology seriously, why should I?  We don't think "degrading their bodies among themselves" is something from which "purebred 100% homosexuals" are exempt. "Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error." This passage describes acts not intentions. If an action is condemned, it does not matter who does it, whether the person is straight, gay, bi, transgendered or whatever. More on this topic here

Doesn't the Bible have examples of same sex relations such as Saul and Jonathan, Naomi and Ruth, Paul and Timothy, and even Jesus and John?

There is no reasonable evidence in Scripture that these relationships are anything other than Philia (Greek for brotherly love). I suggest those who advance the theory of gay sex between holy people in the Bible are mistaking Philia for Eros (romantic love). Surely, people in the LGBT community can imagine close same sex friendships without sex.

Regardless of these attempts to redefine Scripture, there is just no way around the explicit passages in the Bible that forbid gay sex (love). (Gen 19:1-29; Rom 1:24-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10, Jud 1:7) Scripture condemns gay sex. Scripture says that Jesus was without sin. (Heb 4:15) So no, Jesus was not into gay sex with John. Some people in the LGBT community can't get their heads around the idea that someone can live a happy productive life and be celibate.

This theory about gay lovers in the Bible is basically saying that the Scripture contradicts itself, by simultaneously condemning and condoning gay love (sex). This reduces the Bible to an archaic peace of historical literature. If that is the case, then there is no need to try to find a justification for gay sex in Scripture because, as an outdated piece of history, it would not hold humanity to a moral standard. However, the Bible itself says it is the Word of God and that we should not mess with it. (Rev 22:18)

Doesn't Deuteronomy say, "stone your kids if they stray from the faith?" (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

This was a "son" old enough to drink and go out on his own. They are speaking about adult children, demonstrated by the absence of common discipline for children mentioned in other parts of the Bible (i.e., Prov 29:15). In the New Covenant, the death penalty is overshadowed by the Love of Christ. In the New Testament, there is no more death penalty for the sins of gay sex and of "stubborn and rebellious profligation and drunkenness." However, the punishment is presented as much worse after death, for the unrepentant soul. More here

The Bible says nothing about Lesbians

Throughout the Bible, discussions of laws applying to "man" are interpreted as "mankind." For instance, when God said, "man cannot live by bread alone..." (Matthew 4:1-11) of course he was not talking about gender specific males. It's quite obvious that "unnatural sex" in Jude 1:7 and Rom 1:24-27 covers lesbian sex also. The Jewish interpretation of the Torah also backs that up. More here.

How can Christians judge gay sex when the Bible says "Judge not, that you be not judged" (Mat 7:1-2)?

This is often used to try to silence those who publicly oppose sin. The passage is condemning hypocrisy, it is not condemning those who publicly denounce sin for what it is. Two verses later, Jesus says, "...first take the log out of your own eye, then you will clearly be able to take the speck out of your neighbour's eye."  I have taken the log of sexual immorality out of my eye and I have been following the teachings of the Church on sexuality and I invite you to do the same. It is a great life. There are plenty of Bible verses that show us that it is very important to publicly oppose sin. (Jn 7:14, Lk, 12:57, Psm 37:30, Prv 31:9, Lk 17:3, Lev 19:15-17, Is 22:2, 23:36, Mat 23, Mat 3: 2,7, Acts 13:10, Cor 2:15, 6:2-3, Jn 3:18-19, 12:48).  Jesus said, "Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment" (Jn 7:24). Christianity has always been called to impact and influence society toward God's vision as it is laid out in Scripture.

Jesus is most certainly about love. He loves everybody in the GLBT community every bit as much as he does every person sitting in Church. He loves each of us equally and that is 100%.


Jesus loves us just the way we are -
and He loves us too much to leave us that way!

Anyone who is a parent can understand this idea.

Love does not always say "Yes".

The LGBT community as a whole has abandoned the Bible

The LGBT are settling instead with the theory that the Bible is an outdated historical document coloured by its cultural context. Given that Jesus and the apostles were counter cultural to the point of death, there is no reason to believe they "caved into" social norms on homosexuality. The apostles said unnatural sex is wrong, (and that doesn't mean it is worse than other sexual sin).

Many in the LGBT community want to ban the Bible as "hate literature." This crowd also tends to be against censorship and want the Government of Canada to stop interfering with the importation of violent sex pornography. I find this paradox counter-intuitive.

The Bible is not about hate. Quite the opposite, the Bible is about God's love (Agape) for humanity and practical ways to experience that love. The Bible leads to an eternity of love with our Creator. Please, we ask you to spend time with Jesus. He loves you and wants to help. He has helped us immensely.


"God made me gay, it is cruel for him to ask me not to act it out!"

One of the most powerful lines in the movie "Brokeback Mountain" is when Jack Twist says to Ennis "God, I wish I knew how to quit you!" Then Ennis Del Mar says, "Well, why don't you?" It was heartbreaking because we can see the genuine dilemma of a man who is "in Love" with another man. The movie leaves the question open ended, as if there is no answer. However, there is a beautiful and powerful answer. Unfortunately, Jack was not serious when he said the word "God."

Quitting anything that we are powerfully addicted to is incredibly hard. How many times have alcoholics looked at a bottle and said "God, I wish I knew how to quit you." How many times have smokers looked at a pack of cigarettes and said "God, I wish I knew how to quite you."

A top researcher with the American Psychological Association (APA) and lesbian activist, Dr. Lisa Diamond, co-editor-in-chief of the APA Handbook of Sexuality and Psychology and one of the APA’s "most respected members," says sexual orientation is "fluid" and not unchangeable. As clinical psychologist Dr. Laura A. Haynes summarizes Diamond's APA Handbook chapters, her book and YouTube lectures, "The battle to disprove 'Born that way and can’t change’ is now over, and (Diamond) is telling LGBT activists to stop promoting the myth." Diamond summarized relevant findings in a lecture at Cornell University (2013), stating that abundant research has now established that sexual orientation — including attraction, behavior, and self-identity — is fluid for both adolescents and adults and for both genders.

There have been studies to which some in the LGBT community have pointed to "prove" people are born gay. (i.e., "INAH-3" by Simon Levay, "Twins and Other Brothers" by Bailey & Pillar, "Xq28 Genetic Markers" by Dean Hamer). However, none of these researchers has claimed "proof" of the born gay theory. Reputable researchers admit there are many problems with these studies such as small samples sizes and inconsistent results. What these studies have shown, however, is that some people, such as identical twins, who should have been gay based on the theory, were not gay. People's sexuality is not dictated by the conditions laid out in the studies. Probably there are multiple contributing factors. We just don't know - nobody does.

Some are born with a "predisposition" to homosexuality, like a predisposition to depression. A combination of environmental and emotional circumstances may interact with certain predispositions resulting in what we might call "gay". That is quite a bit different from being born gay as an immutable characteristic such as race or colour. Some people with a predisposition to depression become depressed, some don't. Some become depressed but after tuning their life over to Jesus, experience amazing healing and freedom from depression.

Some people who are attracted to the same sex think that the mere fact that they feel that way means they should act on it. But just because a human feels a certain way doesn't mean we are condemned to act on it. For example, there are studies that say all men are hard wired to have multiple partners. But most of us would agree that it is not appropriate for men to live that out. Most well adjusted and happy men don't. Not all things that feel good are truly good for us. We live in a broken world. Catholics call it "original sin."

Jesus freed the woman who was going to be stoned for adultery, "Neither do I condemn you", but he also said, "from now on do not sin again" (Jn 8:11). Jesus loves us completely. He calls us to a higher standard, and sometimes that feels uncomfortable.


Jesus wants all of us to live outside our comfort zone

Abstaining from gay sex may seem uncomfortable, for a time, but it gets easier. For example, if we don't exercise for a long time, the first time we run, it will be painful, it will feel unnatural. But in time, our body gets used to this healthier way of living. We may say to our personal trainer "you are cruel, how could you expect so much from me?". The personal trainer would say, "It's because I want you to be healthy, and I know you are capable of this. It may be painful now, but it will bring much fruit in the future." This is what the Church is saying to the same sex attracted person.

Love does not always say "Yes".

We are not saying same sex attraction is that simple. We are simply saying that it is possible to be free, thousands are. If you are struggling, you can be free also. We are praying for you. There is freedom in Christ. We don't know what form of freedom that will take for you.

The Psychiatrists are wrong about human sexuality. Sex is optional, honest. You don't die from not having sex. It's not like food and water. All humans have some sort of sexual struggle. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. The question is, "what are we going to do about it?" God can answer that question. Paul comfortingly reminds us:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Cor. 10:13).

In a society that is sex-centred it's hard to imagine that I am much more than my sexual attractions. We don't think we are defined by who we are attracted to. We are spiritual beings living in a material world. This world is only the "Matrix." Come join "The Resistance." In the movie Brokeback Mountain

Jack Twist: [looks over at Ennis in the firelight; he has laid back and is looking up at the stars, smiling] Anything interesting up there in heaven?
Ennis Del Mar: [for the first time in a long time, content] I was just sending up a prayer of thanks.
Jack Twist: For what?
Ennis Del Mar: [with a wink and a smile] For you forgettin' to bring that harmonica. I'm enjoyin' the peace and quiet.

The Lord is real, and he is ready to help those who honestly ask for help. Unfortunately Ennis didn't take the next step and pursue that Spiritual moment. He made a joke out of it so he didn't have to look at the truth about the knock on his heart as he looked at the stars. Ironically Heath Leger, who played Ennis, died tragically of a drug overdose.


Sources of help for Gay People

A Catholic organization that has helped some LGBT people who want to explore their relationship with Christ and who want to come into alignment with his will around sex. They are not into reparative therapy or any thing like that, they simply know that with God's love it's possible to live a happy and productive life without gay sex.

Sexaholics Anonymous
A 12 step program which has been successful at helping people maintain a chaste lifestyle free of sexual addiction. Again not into reparative therapy, just simply a way to be free of lust.

A non-Christian site in French, Michel Lizotte.

God heals our sexuality in many different ways. He has a plan for each person. Perhaps some people will remain celibate, others will feel called to marriage with a person of the opposite sex. Many have had successful straight marriages and have had kids. Some will struggle with same sex attraction for their lifetime and will need much support to remain sexually chaste. Others will be completely freed. There is no prescription. But the common thread is that those who turn to the Lord get an amazing amount of support and freedom. Jesus really does heal. The closer we get to him, the more freedom we experience.


Scripture verses on the validity of a consecrated single life (no gay or hetero sexual relationships):

Some people are called to marriage, others to a celibate single life. Scripture often talks about this as a legitimate call from God. So don't despair if you have prayed and prayed and you are still feel you are not called to hetero marriage. Here are some Scriptures.

Matthew 19:10-12
his disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

1 Cor 7:6-9
This I say by way of concession, not of command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.

1 Cor 7:24-35
In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God. Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is well for you to remain as you are. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife... Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none,  but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife,  and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.

1 Cor 7:38-40
So then, he who marries his fiancee does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is more blessed if she remains as she is.

Lord Jesus, let Your prayer of unity for Christians
become a reality, in Your way.
We have absolute confidence
that you can bring your people together,
we give you absolute permission to move.