What's wrong with gay sex?

This is one of a series of articles. The same sex issue is incredibly complex. I'm not going to try to whitewash it with platitudes, or kneejerk judgment.

Here I'll discuss the church's historically poor treatment of people with same sex attraction and perhaps lay out a new way forward. If you are gay, God loves you, just as much as he loves anyone else. Pope Frances said:

"I think that when we encounter a gay person, we must make the distinction between the fact of a person being gay and the fact of a lobby, because lobbies are not good. They are bad. If a person is gay and seeks the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge that person? The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains this point beautifully but says, wait a moment, how does it say, it says, these persons must never be marginalized and “they must be integrated into society.”

The problem is not that one has this tendency; no, we must be brothers, this is the first matter. There is another problem, another one: the problem is to form a lobby of those who have this tendency, a lobby of the greedy people, a lobby of politicians, a lobby of Masons, so many lobbies. This is the most serious problem for me. And thank you so much for doing this question. Pope Frances, July 28, 2013

The Church has a history of poor charity to gay men and lesbians

Denial is not a good thing. It's not healthy. Those who are same sex attracted need to have a place to share feelings and experiences, whether it be with a spiritual advisor and/or in a group. Christians need to provide a clean, welcoming, "no-sex" space, where men and women who have had or still have "same sex" attraction can explore God's gift of chastity in an environment that is supporting, loving and free of the "yuck!" factor around sexual issues.

However, there is a kind of denial which is even more unhealthy than being "in the closet." It is denial of God's call on all humans to chastity. In the gay community, there is a sentiment that anyone who practices chastity is in denial. I suggest it is the exact opposite. Chastity is total ownership of our human condition, and a total acceptance of our sexuality and God's ability to keep us chaste. He is actually quite good at that and without him it's almost impossible.

Welcoming people with same sex attraction is the Church's responsibility. We can no longer leave this to the gay community, because paradoxically, sex is not the answer to same sex attraction.

I had spent five years in the New York entertainment industry and a year and a half "out" the same sex world before the journey into Chrisianity and chastity. Historically, Christians of all denominations have been uncharitable toward individuals who were same sex attracted. Earlier this century, some Christians set aside gay sex as a "yucky" kind of sin, as if it was worse than other sexual sin. This was wrong. Christians failed same sex attracted people in this capacity. If this is your situation, I want to say I'm sorry and I pray that healing will occur. Please forgive the lack of Charity. The Church is not complete without people with all kinds of struggles, including same sex attraction. The 1994 Catechism called the Christian community to task about its lack of Charity to gay men and lesbians:

...They [gay men and lesbians] must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These people are called to fulfill God's will in their lives... (2358)

Pope John Paul II's "Theology of the Body" is an amazing teaching on human sexuality, and its meaning. I think it holds tremendous promise to help same sex attracted people.

Why does the Church say "no" to gay sex?

  • The Biblical evidence is that cover to cover the Bible presents gay sex as a problem, which is why there has been so much work by activists to try to reframe the Bible, or worse make it illegal to read.
  • The historical evidence is that the saints, mystics, and the fathers of the Church, throughout history are consistent about gay sex. Many gave their lives in the defence and pursuit of truth, and had no good reason to "tow the line" with the Church or their culture.
  • The biological evidence, "Natural Law" says that things in God's Creation should be used according to their purpose. (i.e., Gay sex is inserting a reproductive organ into a digestive tract, which hardly seems to follow any natural or biological law.)
  • The ecclesiastical evidence: Christian charity is to try to help people who have fallen away to come back, for their own eternal good and for the good of those they influence. That's the Church's mission as commanded by Christ, and whenever and wherever the Church drifts from that mission, it suffers.

Beyond the official Church reasons:

  • The statistical evidence paints a dramatic picture gay sex, imploding within the gay community with huge social fallout on the general population.
  • The political evidence is the oppression of free speech and freedom of religion. It is the spearhead of a new war on the Church.
  • My personal evidence of two years as a gay person is that my life is much better now. I spent 23 years celibate, and recently married a wonderful and faithful woman. I've experienced all of the other points above personally.
  • My emotional evidence is that I'm happier now.
  • My spiritual evidence is that the closer I feel to Jesus, the more freedom I experience from same sex attraction. I have met others who have had this experience also.

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Are Christians intolerant, judgmental bigots?

Some Christians, including some Catholics, are intolerant, judgmental bigots. Just like some gay men and lesbians are judgmental, intolerant bigots. I was at a party for a co-worker who was gay, and one of his friends came up to me after finding out I was Christian and basically yelled at me for 30 minutes, because of my belief that the Bible has something to say to humanity today. He told me to throw out my "magic book of medieval myths." His partner told him to calm down.

On the other hand, many in both groups are not judgmental and intolerant at all. Like all human beings, we come in many different varieties. So I would suggest that blanket statements like "Christians are intolerant and judgmental" reveals the same kind of prejudice in the accuser, as the statement itself is condemning.

I was on a train the other day and a teenager was talking about gay marriage to her friend. She said, "how can the Church talk about morality, while it practices intolerance and hate which are immoral?"

Buzzwords like "judgmental" and "intolerant" have been hijacked by what I consider a new religion, Relativism. I discuss the new meaning of tolerance, inclusiveness, hate and diversity here. Relativism is a philosophy that says things like "every person's truth has the same merit." Yet, many people who hold this philosophy don't think that there is any merit in a Christian person's truth. Today, we no longer talk about "absolute Truth." Everything is relative. So society talks about "Truth-s." In modern culture, one person's belief is as important as what someone else believes regardless of whether it is true or not. So modern society has abandoned truth, in favour of preference.

I have a blind friend who loves to jog. He was jogging across the street one morning. He didn't believe a car was coming. That was his "truth," and he believed it. Unfortunately, he was wrong. A car hit him and broke his leg.

This actually happened to my friend. If I was on the side of the road and saw the car coming towards him, would it be responsible for me to just stay silent and say to myself, "I shouldn't warn him about the car because I don't want to be intolerant and judgmental about his truth?" I think I have a responsibility to inform him that there is a car coming. He may not listen to me, but it is still my duty to inform him. The truth is not relative. There is absolute Truth. In this case it was that a car was coming. Relativism is not viable as a philosophy, paradoxically it leads to a kind of fundamentalism.

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Which is more old-fashioned, the Church or the modern sex friendly society?

Since Freud, we in modern society have become increasingly sex centred. Today, society considers the Catholic Church's views on sex "regressive, old fashioned and medieval". But "modern society" is more "regressive" than the Church. It is following Caligula in ancient Rome.

Perhaps the Church is Medieval, but if that is so, then modern society is Primal!

A couple of years ago the #1 dance song hit was:

You and me baby, we ain't nothing but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery channel

Never before in history has mankind been so sex-centred. Internet porn (the "crack cocaine" of sex addiction), late night TV, and even sex on prime time TV are just a few ways that society pushes pornography right into our homes. Viagra is a top selling drug. Men can't keep up with the amount of sex they think they should have. My email inbox is full of the same kind of male enhancement spam as everyone else. In 2001, the National Post reported that 25% of girls in the age bracket 15-25 have venereal warts. It has become common for 12-13 year old girls to show up at high schools to give group oral sex to male high school athletes. Statistics Canada reports 100,000 abortions a year (over 1,000,000 in the US).

Even with devastating statistics, modern culture thinks everybody has to have unbridled sex. Teenage girls who refuse to kiss another girl at parties are ostracized by the boys. People who don't have sex are viewed with pity or contempt. We wonder what is wrong with them. Psychiatrists have a field day with people who feel called to celibacy. Teenagers who want to wait until marriage are ridiculed by their peers.

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Statistics provided by the gay community

Canada's largest gay paper XTRA recently reported “A group of six Canadian queers is taking on homophobia in Canada's healthcare system by filing a complaint with the Canadian Human Rights Commission.”

Canada's healthcare system is homophobic, says group
Six queers file human rights complaint"
Julia Garro / Xtra / National / Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Here's an excerpt:

Over the past 10 years [Health Canada and the Public Health Agency of Canada] have contracted with experts on gay, lesbian, bisexual health to produce studies [using public health care dollars] on the many health issues that are endemic to our community and ask for recommendations how to address those issues,... The report's list of health issues affecting queer Canadians includes lower life expectancy than the average Canadian, suicide, higher rates of substance abuse, depression, inadequate access to care and HIV/AIDS... There are all kinds of health issues that are endemic to our community...We have higher rates of anal cancer in the gay male community, lesbians have higher rates of breast cancer ...the reality is there is more GLBT people in this country who die of suicide each year than die from AIDS, there are more who die early deaths from substance abuse than die of HIV/AIDS....It seems that... now that we can get married everyone assumes that we don't have any issues any more. A lot of the deaths that occur in our community are hidden, we don't see them. Those of us who are working on the front lines see them and I'm tired of watching my community die"

They claim "homophobia" to be the cause of all of this, which confuses me because when I was active in the gay community in the 80's there was much more "homophobia" and much less social acceptance. Yet the statistics are much worse now, even though gay marriage is legal in Canada, and gay sex is pretty well normalized.

In places like San Francisco and the Netherlands where gay sex is normalized, the stats are worse, so I have difficulty with the theory that the cause is Homophobia.

Their report unintentionally argues against the foundation of the gay rights movement's assertion that gay sex is equivalent to straight sex. But far from revisiting the whole premise of promoting abstinence, they are promoting a greater share of the public health care money than average Canadians.

Gens Hellquist, one of the complainants is the executive director of the Canadian Rainbow Health Coalition. The other five are representatives from major Canadian cities: Toronto, Vancouver, Saskatoon, St. John’s and Montreal.

Here's a popup of stats of their research.

  • Life expectancy of gay/bisexual men in Canada is 20 years less than the average; that is 55 years.
  • GLB people commit suicide at rates from 2 to 13.9 times more often than average.
  • GLB people have smoking rates 1.3 to 3 times higher than average.
  • GLB people have rates of alcoholism 1.4 to 7 times higher than average.
  • GLB people have rates of illicit drug use 1.6 to 19 times higher than average.
  • GLB people show rates of depression 1.8 to 3 times higher than average.
  • Gay and bisexual men (MSM) comprise 76.1% of AIDS cases.
  • Gay and bisexual men (MSM) comprise 54% of new HIV infections each year.
  • If one uses Statistics Canada figure of 1.7% of GLB becoming infected, that is 26 times higher than average.
  • GLB people are at a higher risk for anal cancers.

For the exact quotes, please see pages 3 and 4 of the HRC complaint.
Click here for the whole original HRC complaint document.

Click here for the whole original HRC complaint document. The exact quotes are found on pages 3 and 4 of the HRC complaint.

Some gay activists say that these stats are because gay men have delayed adolescence as a result of "coming out" late (i.e., in there 30's), and they are promiscuous because they were late blooming teenagers. They say things like "Does your gay age match your chronological age?"  If that theory was true then the statistics would show the promiscuity of adult gay men to be similar to straight teenagers. But that is just not so. Adult gay men have promiscuity statistics far exceeding straight teenagers. The other problem with this theory is that there is no indication that the "adolescent sex craze" period in gay men slows down after 5 years of coming out as it does after adolescents finish their teen years. In most cases the addiction to lust increases over time. Articles in gay papers ridicule gay men who don't want exposure to HIV encouraging them to not curb sex.

If you live downtown and you go to gay spaces and you hook up, then you definitely know and are having sex with HIV-positive guys ...you're entitled to not use condoms, to not ask when you partner was last tested, to smoke tina and party hard - but know that those choices belong to you not your partner. (Capital Xtra June 7, 2007)

The culture of pushing sex down peoples throats is not working. There is nothing wrong with abstinence from sex. HIV positive or not. It goes for everyone who is not married to someone of the opposite sex. I've been single and chaste for many years. You don't die from not having sex.

Recent laws and policies aimed at reducing the rate of suicide, addiction, partner abuse, and STDs, etc. by granting more sexual freedom have not diminished those statistics. There has been an increase since the beginning of the 'rights' movement in the early 70's and it's getting worse, not better. Some statistics can be found from the following gay web sites: http://www.gaytoz.com/bResearch.asp. Health Canada has a very disturbing study about the prevalence of HIV here.

"... the economic impact of 3,070 new HIV infections in 2009 has a lifetime cost of $4,031,500,000, approximately 22% higher than previously estimated... HIV/AIDS is costing Canadians $1.3 million per each new diagnosis of HIV. But it’s not about money – the primary concern is for the affected lives." Canadian Aids Society...http://www.cdnaids.ca/cost-of-hiv

Here is a comprehensive exploration of the health issues regarding gay sex, written by a doctor.

A same sex attracted man wrote me asking, "what about committed relationships?".

A popup of our dialogue is here.

A same sex attracted reader wrote to me:

>> I feel like in your same sex marriage article you completely ignored the marriage component. Okay, you’re against the polygamous, sex-addicted gay community. Now that’s a stereotype. Alright, some people in the gay community (a lot, actually) are like that. However, gay, straight, or otherwise I’m looking for love, not sex. The same goes for quite a few gay people I know. And once we’re at this point, what if I am gay and looking for love. Does God want me to not love? Does God want me to not be loved? I think God wants me to be happy.

I have a separate article on gay marriage here. My experience is that gay sex is unhealthy. It doesn't matter whether that sex is because of "love" or "lust"...

>>Again, you jump straight to gay sex. What if I was to marry somebody of the same sex and have it be a purely romantic relationship? Using your argument, it wouldn’t be unhealthy, right?

The word Marriage is understood to involve sex... in fact in Catholicism, if it is not consumated, there is no sacramental marriage.
That's why gay marriage could never exist in Catholicism...  I've probably been in the gay community as much as you, and we both know that sex is what holds the community together. I remember a trusted leader in the movement saying.. "gay sex is the only thing we have in common as a community, otherwise there's not much many of us have in common with one another."

    >> Also, when you say “unhealthy,” what do you mean exactly?  

Everything:

  • Physical. Here's a good article by a doctor http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0075.html
  • Emotional which I can personally say is very damaging check out the stats of suicide, partner abuse, depression, medication, psychiatric care... every guy I knew in the community was on some sort of medslike prozac.  This was worse where same sex is accepted like San Fran, Netherlands and Grenwich VIllage. So I don't think it's because of nonacceptance...
  • Spiritual which every major religious text of 5000 years of civilization says causes spiritual harm... I can tell you that I'm doing 10 times better these days spiritually without the sex. My meditation time is amazing. Much better than sex, or even cuddling or whatever you want to euphemize it as.

I think what you are really looking for is true love and you will never be happy as long as you look for that from people before finding it in God. Love does not always say yes to every desire of the heart... because the heart is fickle. I promise you, you will not be happy in the long run if you go your current direction. There is a better way. It is a great life.
 
May God bless you.

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How does the Church explain same sex attraction ? 

It would be impossible to understand the Catholic Church's position on gay marriage without exploring its take on same sex attraction in general.

The Catholic Church is the first to admit that it is a mystery. The Church is not saying same sex attraction is a choice. The Catechism says:

". . .It's psychological genesis remains largely unexplained." (section 2357)

Psychiatrists can't explain same sex attraction. But that doesn't mean gay "love" sex is right. It just means it's unexplained. There are many mysteries that modern medicine has not unraveled. Before "Stonewall" in 1969 1, there were huge arguments within the gay community itself about whether homosexuality is a disability. The gay community was divided within itself. After much lobbying by the gay community, including the storming of a 1972 San Francisco psychiatric convention, the Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the DSM (catalogue of disabilities) in 1973. Just because they caved into pressure and changed their position does not mean they are right. Sometimes psychiatrists are wrong, individually and collectively. (i.e., they have among the highest divorce and suicide rates)3 Now under the emerging Bill C250 in Canada, any attempt to link same sex attraction with disability can cause the threat of "hate crime." Five thousand years of civilization overturned in 30 years.

The Catechism says:

Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity (Gen 19:1-29; Rom 1:24-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10), tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered." They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity.

The Catechism goes on to say:

...The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. They do not choose their homosexual condition; for most of them it is a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection. (Catechism 2357-2359).

I was the same way when I was pushing for political "equality" for the gay community, which I did on Canadian National TV when I congratulated gay MP Svend Robinson for "coming out." He has since tried to have references to "God" removed from the Canadian constitution and wants to see the Bible outlawed as "hate" literature. He succeeded in passing a law that punishes people for merely publicly disagreeing with gay sex, before he resigned after being caught stealing a $50,000 wedding ring for his partner. The bill constitutes this as a hate crime in Canada under his new law Bill C250. Oh Lord forgive him! And forgive me for having supported him.

We got an email that said:

[for the Church] to treat gay persons as they have been treated is immoral. It is shameful and I detest that treatment. I long ago left such an abusive relationship.

The Catholic Church's current attitude isn't abusive, it is love. A loving parent sometimes has to tell a child not to play in a bad neighbourhood. The child may take offense and tell all his friends how mean his parents are. Perhaps the child goes to school and tells the teachers and principal that his parents are abusive (the way the Gay community is going to politicians about the "hateful" church). Perhaps the child goes to the Children's Aid and files a report against the parents (the way the gay community runs to the Human Right's Commission). The parent sadly accepts this anger, judgment, and threatening calls from teachers, principals and perhaps the Children's Aid. But nevertheless, the parent has to stand firm because the parent loves the child and wants to protect the child from the dangers of the bad neighbourhood. Sometimes being a good parent means being hated by children who make unsafe demands.

Like the child in the example above, some people in the gay community think the Catholic Church has been unfair with its position on gay sex and have complained loudly and publicly. The Church has been beat up badly by the press, politicians, and by the courts. Like the parent in the example above, the Catholic Church must stand firm and accept the pain and damage of this bad press in order to protect the souls of Christians who obey and listen to the Church's teaching. It is precisely because the Catholic Church loves gay people (and all people) that it advises against gay sex. Other denominations have caved into the pressure to be more "progressive", but it has not helped grow their churches and they are currently on the brink of extinction.

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Interpretations of the Bible that attempt to justify gay "love"

I am grateful that some people in the gay community are still reading the Bible and looking for answers to the moral dilemmas of modern man in Sacred Scripture. Please continue, the Bible is the most happening book on the planet. I have moved my section on gay sex in the Bible out of this document to its own page because it got quite detailed in response to many emails from the gay community. It is here. I'll just touch on a few points here.

The Bible covers a 5000 year period from the dawn of man to the years after Christ's resurrection. From back to front, it never flinches on its strong opposition to gay sex. That in itself is a powerful statement in the wake of the statistically documented devastation that has occurred in the short 30 years since gay sex has been "accepted" by western society.

Isn't the Bible and God about "love" so doesn't that make gay love (sex) cool?

There are four Greek words for love in the Bible. I suggest the gay community is confusing same sex philia (brotherly love) which the Bible encourages, with same sex "eros" (romantic love) which the Bible condemns. More on this topic here

In the New Testament, doesn't Jesus wash away the Old Testament law and morality?

Gay sex is condemned in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. Also Jesus said:

"Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. (Mt 5:17) More on this topic here

Jesus never talks about homosexuality in the Bible

Jesus lived in a time when homosexuality was wrong. If He did have something new to say about homosexuality, it would have been written and recorded since it would be an incredible departure. But He reaffirmed the Old Testament (Mat 5:17). He restored the "one man, one woman," marriage Genesis model (Mat 19:5-6), affirmed that adultery is wrong, (Mat 5:27-28), that sexual contact or lust outside of marriage is a sin. (Mat 5)

The apostles died to affirm Jesus' teaching and are explicit in their condemnation of gay sex. They knew that it would be a scandal to teach anything contrary to his words. More on this topic here

Wasn't Sodom about "unwelcoming" rather than gay love (sex)?

Lots of towns were unwelcoming, they didn't share the same fate of Sodom. The New Testament says "Likewise Sodom and Gomorrah in the same manner...indulged in sexual immorality and... unnatural lust." (Jude 1:7) This is pretty clear about what went wrong in Sodom. More on this topic here

Wasn't Sodom about "rape" rather than about same sex committed relationships?

No one was raped that night in Sodom. The Angels blinded them so they could not even find the door to get in to Lot's house to do the rape (Gen 19:11). More on this topic here

Well then, wasn't Sodom about "intended rape," that is almost as bad as rape?

Peter describes Sodom's sin as 'licentious, lawless deeds.' (2 Peter 2:7) The word 'lawless' is particularly interesting because Jewish law found in Leviticus never specified the 'intent' of rape as a crime. However, gay sex is expressly forbidden in Jewish law. (Lev 18:22) Peter uses the word 'deeds' to describe Sodom's sin. This infers a concrete action, not just intent. This passage says "indulge their flesh in depraved lust." To indulge the flesh points to more than intent to rape. The passage says Lot was tormented 'day after day' by lawless deeds he 'saw and heard.' This appears to be more than simple intent and appears to refer to more than one isolated incident. I think Jer 23:14 and Isaiah 3:9 also support this. More on this topic here

Isn't Romans 1:24-27 simply saying that people should not have gay sex if it is "unnatural" for them?

So let's for a moment consider that to be true, that the passage exempts 100% purebred homosexuals (on the Kinsey scale, if there is such a thing). Where would that leave the bisexual? Virtually all theologians and gay friendly churches that justify gay sex using this defense also defend the validity of a bisexual orientation, which their interpretation of this passage damns. If they don't take their own theology seriously, why should I?  I don't think "degrading their bodies among themselves" is something from which "purebred 100% homosexuals" are exempt. "Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error." This passage describes acts not intentions. If an action is condemned, it does not matter who does it, whether the person is straight, gay, bi, transgendered or whatever. More on this topic here

Doesn't the Bible have examples of same sex relations such as Saul and Jonathan, Naomi and Ruth, Paul and Timothy, and even Jesus and John?

There is no reasonable evidence in Scripture that these relationships are anything other than Philia (Greek for brotherly love). I suggest those who advance the theory of gay sex between holy people in the Bible are mistaking Philia for Eros (romantic love). Surely, people in the gay community can imagine close same sex friendships without sex.

Regardless of these attempts to redefine Scripture, there is just no way around the explicit passages in the Bible that forbid gay sex (love). (Gen 19:1-29; Rom 1:24-27; 1 Cor 6:10; 1 Tim 1:10, Jud 1:7) Scripture condemns gay sex. Scripture says that Jesus was without sin. (Heb 4:15) So no, Jesus was not into gay sex with John. Some people in the gay community can't get their heads around the idea that someone can live a happy productive life and be celibate.

This theory about gay lovers in the Bible is basically saying that the Scripture contradicts itself, by simultaneously condemning and condoning gay love (sex). This reduces the Bible to an archaic peace of historical literature. If that is the case, then there is no need to try to find a justification for gay sex in Scripture because, as an outdated piece of history, it would not hold humanity to a moral standard. However, the Bible itself says it is the Word of God and that we should not mess with it. (Rev 22:18)

Doesn't Deuteronomy say "stone your kids if they stray from the faith?" (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

This was a "son" old enough to drink and go out on his own. They are speaking about adult children, demonstrated by the absence of common discipline for children mentioned in other parts of the Bible (i.e., Prov 29:15). In the New Covenant, the death penalty is overshadowed by the Love of Christ. In the New Testament, there is no more death penalty for the sins of gay sex and of "stubborn and rebellious profligation and drunkenness." However, the punishment is presented as much worse after death, for the unrepentant soul. More here

The Bible says nothing about Lesbians

Throughout the Bible, discussions of laws applying to "man" are interpreted as "mankind." For instance, when God said "man cannot live by bread alone..." (Matthew 4:1-11) of course he was not talking about gender specific males. It's quite obvious that "unnatural sex" in Jude 1:7 and Rom 1:24-27 covers lesbian sex also. The Jewish interpretation of the Torah also backs that up. More here.

How can Christians judge gay sex when the Bible says "Judge not, that you be not judged"
(Mat 7:1-2)?

This is often used to try to silence those who publicly oppose sin. The passage is condemning hypocrisy, it is not condemning those who publicly denounce sin for what it is. Two verses later, Jesus says, "...first take the log out of your own eye, then you will clearly be able to take the speck out of your neighbour's eye."  I have taken the log of sexual immorality out of my eye and I have been following the teachings of the Church on sexuality and I invite you to do the same. It is a great life. There are plenty of Bible verses that show us that it is very important to publicly oppose sin. (Jn 7:14, Lk, 12:57, Psm 37:30, Prv 31:9, Lk 17:3, Lev 19:15-17, Is 22:2, 23:36, Mat 23, Mat 3: 2,7, Acts 13:10, Cor 2:15, 6:2-3, Jn 3:18-19, 12:48).  Jesus said, "Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment" (Jn 7:24). Christianity has always been called to impact and influence society toward God's vision as it is laid out in Scripture.

Jesus is most certainly about love. He loves everybody in the GLBT community every bit as much as he does every person sitting in Church. He loves each of us equally and that is 100%.

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Jesus loves us just the way we are -
and He loves us too much to leave us that way!

I think anyone who is a parent can understand this idea.

Love does not always say "Yes".

The Gay Community as a whole has abandoned the Bible

The gay community, as a whole, has abandoned attempts to find a justification for gay "love" in the Bible, and they are settling instead with the theory that the Bible is an outdated historical document coloured by its cultural context. Given that Jesus and the apostles flew in the face of the culture of their time, to the point of death, there is no reason to believe they "caved into" social norms on homosexuality. The apostles said gay sex is wrong, (and that doesn't mean it is worse than other sexual sin).

Many in the gay community want to ban the Bible as "hate literature." This crowd also tends to be against censorship and want the Government of Canada to stop interfering with the importation of violent sex pornography. I find this paradox counter-intuitive.

I believe the Bible is not what the gay community is say it is. It is not about hate. Quite the opposite, the Bible is about God's love (Agape) for humanity and practical ways to experience that love. The Bible leads to an eternity of love with our Creator. Please, I ask you to spend time with Jesus. He loves you and wants to help. He has helped me immensely.

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"God made me gay, it is cruel for him to ask me not to act it out!"

One of the most powerful lines in the movie "Brokeback Mountain" is when Jack Twist says to Ennis "God, I wish I knew how to quit you!" Then Ennis Del Mar says "Well, why don't you?" It was heartbreaking because we can see the genuine dilemma of a man who is "in Love" with another man. The movie leaves the question open ended, as if there is no answer. However, I believe the question does have an answer, a beautiful and powerful answer. Unfortunately, Jack was not serious when he said the word "God."

Quitting anything that we are powerfully addicted to is incredibly hard. How many times have alcoholics looked at a bottle and said "God, I wish I knew how to quite you." How many times have smokers looked at a pack of cigarettes and said "God, I wish I knew how to quite you."

There have been studies to which some in the gay community have pointed to "prove" people are born gay. (i.e., "INAH-3" by Simon Levay, "Twins and Other Brothers" by Bailey & Pillar, "Xq28 Genetic Markers" by Dean Hamer). However, none of these researchers has claimed "proof" of the born gay theory. Reputable researchers admit there are many problems with these studies such as small samples sizes and inconsistent results. What these studies have shown, however, is that some people who should have been gay based on the theory, were not gay. So people's sexuality is not dictated by the conditions laid out in the studies. Probably there are multiple contributing factors. We just don't know - nobody does.

[my personal opinion is that some of us are born with a "predisposition" to homosexuality, just like some are born with a predisposition to alcoholism or depression. In other words a combination of environmental and emotional circumstances may interact with certain predispositions resulting in what we might call "gay". I think that is quite a bit different from being born gay as an immutable characteristic such as race or colour. Some people who are born with a predisposition to depression become depressed, some don't. Some become depressed but after tuning their life over to Jesus, experience amazing healing and freedom from depression. I am in no way speaking for the Church here.]

Some people who are attracted to the same sex think that the mere fact that they feel that way means they should act on it. But just because a human feels a certain way doesn't mean we are condemned to act on it. For example, there are studies that say all men are hard wired to have multiple partners. But most of us would agree that it is not appropriate for men to live that out. Most well adjusted and happy men don't. Not all things that feel good are truly good for us.

It was fun for me to do drugs, but God was calling me to a higher way of living. We live in a broken world. Catholics call it "original sin."

Jesus freed the woman who was going to be stoned for adultery, "Neither do I condemn you", but he also said "from now on do not sin again" (Jn 8:11). Jesus loves us completely. He calls us to a higher standard, and sometimes that feels uncomfortable.

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Jesus wants all of us to live outside our comfort zone.

Abstaining from gay sex may seem uncomfortable, for a time, but it gets easier. For example, if I don't exercise for a long time, the first time I run, it will be painful, it will feel unnatural. But in time, my body gets used to this healthier way of living. I may say to my personal trainer "you are cruel, how could you expect so much from me?". The personal trainer would say, "It's because I want you to be healthy, and I know you are capable of this. It may be painful now, but it will bring much fruit in the future." This is what the Church is saying to the same sex attracted person.

Love does not always say "Yes".

I'm not saying same sex attraction is that simple. I am simply saying that it is possible to be free, thousands are. If you are struggling, you can be free also. I am praying for you. There is freedom in Christ. I don't know what form of freedom that will take for you.

The Psychiatrists are wrong about human sexuality. Sex is optional, honest. You don't die from not having sex. It's not like food and water. All humans have some sort of sexual struggle. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. The question is, "what are we going to do about it?" God can answer that question. We live in a broken world. Paul comfortingly reminds us:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Cor. 10:13).

In a society that is sex-centred it's hard to imagine that I am much more than my sexual attractions. I don't think we are defined by who we are attracted to. We are spiritual beings living in a material world. This world is only the "Matrix." Come join "The Resistance."In the movie Brokeback Mountain

Jack Twist: [looks over at Ennis in the firelight; he has laid back and is looking up at the stars, smiling] Anything interesting up there in heaven?
Ennis Del Mar: [for the first time in a long time, content] I was just sending up a prayer of thanks.
Jack Twist: For what?
Ennis Del Mar: [with a wink and a smile] For you forgettin' to bring that harmonica. I'm enjoyin' the peace and quiet.

The Lord is real, and he is ready to help those who honestly ask for help. Unfortunately Ennis didn't take the next step and pursue that Spiritual moment. He made a joke out of it so he didn't have to look at the truth about the knock on his heart as he looked at the stars. In real life, Heath Leger, who played Ennis, tragically died of a drug overdose after making the movie "Batman."

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Sources of help for Gay People

Courage
A Catholic organization that has helped some GLBTS people who want to explore their relationship with Christ and who want to come into alignment with his will around sex. They are not into reparative therapy or any thing like that, they simply know that with God's love it's possible to live a happy and productive life without gay sex.

Sexaholics Anonymous
A 12 step program which has been successful at helping people maintain a chaste lifestyle free of sexual addiction. Again not into reparative therapy, just simply a way to be free of lust.

http://tavietonchoix.org/
A non-Christian site in French, Michel Lizotte, the founder is here:
http://vimeo.com/30548212
http://vimeo.com/23591010

God heals our sexuality in many different ways. He has a plan for each person. Perhaps some people will remain celibate, others will feel called to marriage with a person of the opposite sex. Many have had successful straight marriages and have had kids. Some will struggle with same sex attraction for their lifetime and will need much support to remain sexually chaste. Others will be completely freed. There is no prescription. But the common thread is that those who turn to the Lord get an amazing amount of support and freedom. Jesus really does heal. The closer we get to him, the more freedom we experience.

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Scripture verses on the validity of a consecrated single life (no gay or hetero sexual relationships):

Some people are called to marriage, others to a celibate single life. Scripture often talks about this as a legitimate call from God. So don't despair if you have prayed and prayed and you are still feel you are not called to hetero marriage. Here are some Scriptures.

Matthew 19:10-12
...
his disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."

1 Cor 7:6-9
...
This I say by way of concession, not of command. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.

1 Cor 7:24-35
...
In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God. Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. I think that, in view of the impending crisis, it is well for you to remain as you are. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife... Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none,  but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife,  and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.

1 Cor 7:38-40
...
So then, he who marries his fiancee does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is more blessed if she remains as she is.

Lord Jesus, let Your prayer of unity for Christians
become a reality, in Your way.
We have absolute confidence
that you can bring your people together,
we give you absolute permission to move.
Amen